


I Wanna Know You

by lmjposie



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hannah Montana References, Pansexual Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-23 00:44:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17673173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmjposie/pseuds/lmjposie
Summary: Based on a few Hannah Montana songs





	I Wanna Know You

Penelope should've known to throw it out, but she never was able to bring herself to do so. In hindsight, it had been months since she had last touched it, she forgot it was even there. She'd given up in her pursuit of her best friend, Josie Saltzman. seven months into Josie's relationship with Hope Mikaelson, she knew she should cease her silly little crush. The two were perfect together, there was no doubt in her mind they'd probably get married. Josie would gush about Hope to Penelope all the time causing the hazel eyed girl's heart to break slowly and painfully. Nonetheless, she always listened with a smile and gave her support.

The two were packing Penelope's luggage for her two-day trip to Virginia. Well, it was more like Josie was packing Penelope's luggage while the shorter girl was sprawled out on her bed, ranting about missing a mere two days of school for a college related reason.

"I'm going to miss two whole days of school! Two! I'm going to be so behind! Maybe I should just cancel this visit, I don't even really want to go to Salvatore University!" Penelope let out exasperatedly. 

"Pen, calm down." The brown eyed girl chuckled. "You'll be fine, I'll get all the notes for you and teach it to you when you get back. Plus, that's bullshit. You've always wanted to go to the Salvatore University. Don't cancel it."

"What if I have to go to truancy court for missing my classes? Oh my-" Penelope realized, springing up from the bed.

"You're won't be truant. You have to miss like 400 classes to go to truancy court. You're only missing six, and you haven't even missed a class this year." The brunette-haired girl reassured.

The shorter girl pouted "It'll mess up my perfect attendance!"

"Nobody cares about that, you dork." Josie teased.

"Stupid college visits." The hazel eyed girl mumbled into her pillow.

Josie shook her head at her best friend's antics, rummaging through Penelope's disorganized drawers in order to find some shirts.

"Hey, Pen where the fuck are all of your-" She began before she stumbled upon a small shoe box in her drawer. "Okay, I know you're messy as fuck but what is a shoe box doing in your drawer?"

Penelope's eyes widened, "Oh, um, I don't know." She chuckled nervously, trying to snatch it from her best friend's hands.

The brown eyed girl raised her eyebrows as she read "For Josie" labeled on the box. She held the box out of the squirming other girl's reach. "What's this?" She asked.

"I-It's dumb." The raven-haired girl stammered trying to think of a lie. "It's just a box of pictures of us, you know, memories with my best friend kind of thing?"

"Ooh!" The brown-haired girl answered, moving out of the way, causing the shorter girl to lose her balance and nearly fall over. "I wanna see." She plopped down on the bed and made a move to open the box.

Penelope quickly recovered from, in her eyes, her 34000th near death experience and before Josie could do anything else, she snatched it from her and shoved it back into her drawer.

"It's um." She nervously racked her brain to think of another lie. "It's a surprise for your birthday!"

Josie didn't buy the lie one bit. "Pen, my birthday is six months away, never in your life have you ever gotten anyone a present that early and besides, I know when you're lying."

Before Penelope could answer, Josie's phone rang, the sound of Hope's ringtone, Breaking Free from High School Musical, filled the room causing Josie to break out in a smile. And for the first time, Penelope was glad to hear that ringtone.

Penelope tuned out their conversation, distracting herself by deciding to continue packing. She figured she might as well go visit SU since it's too late now to cancel her flight and it was indeed her dream school. It also wasn't a bad thing that she'd be away from Josie and Hope's heavy make out sessions during lunch for two days.

"I forgot Hope and I had a date planned tonight, so I've gotta head out." Josie coolly explained, sticking her hands in her pockets. "I pretty much packed everything except your shirts, I don't know how you ever find anything in those cluttered ass drawers of yours."

"Alright, thanks Jo. I'll see you tomorrow." The hazel eyed girl responded, rocking back and forth on her heels.

With that, Josie left without another word. Penelope didn't bother to follow her out, her heart still racing after her best friend nearly found out the one secret she's kept from her. She quickly shook her head and decided she should stash the box somewhere else, she still didn't have the heart to throw it out.

Josie on the other hand, didn't believe that said box was for her birthday. There was no way that her best friend would ever. The girl literally never knows what to get her, she'd always pester her about what she wanted for her birthday. Every year, Josie would always say "Surprise me." as a way to aggravate Penelope. Did Penelope finally decide to stop asking her? Josie highly doubted it.

***

"Oh my God, Jo. The campus is so beautiful. I love it there, the people, the campus, everything! I seriously can't wait to get out of this shit hole of a school and go there!" Penelope gushed.

Josie put her pencil down and listened with a smile. "Haven't you visited like two times before?"

"Yeah," The brunette admitted, "But I don't think I'll ever get tired of it. Every time I go, I fall in love with it even more."

The hazel eyed girl let out a chuckle, "Don't worry, that's how I am when I visit New Orleans." The girl paused, "Hey, uhm I think I left my jacket up in your room before you left. Tell you what, you finish up this problem while I go get it, okay?" She asked while pointing to a problem in the Calculus book they were currently doing. Josie was in the midst of teaching Penelope the lesson she missed from class.

"Fuck calculus." The hazel eyed girl grumbled before getting back to work.

For the past five days, the mysterious box had been on Josie's mind. She wondered what it could possibly be that would cause her best friend to hide it from her, was it her sex toys? The thought of that disappeared from her mind as quickly as it came, it wouldn't be labeled 'For Josie' if it were. That would be creepy. Was it her stash of weed? No way, Penelope was open about her drug use, only using it once in a while. She wouldn’t feel the need to hide it from her, would she? Unless…that’s her stash of harder drugs. Does her best friend have a drug problem? Her best friend had been acting a little wild lately... then again that's just how Penelope is. She made a mental note to hold an intervention if it truly was her drug stash.

As soon as Josie entered Penelope's room, she went straight for the drawer in search of the mystery box. She scoured through every nook and cranny of the drawer but to no avail. She fucking hid it somewhere else Josie grumbled. She searched underneath her bed, in her desk, and in her bookshelf. Always coming out empty handed.

"Jo, what're you doing?" Penelope questioned causing Josie to jump.

"Guess I didn't forget my jacket after all!" The brown-haired girl nervously chuckled. "Oh, mind if I borrow this book?" She asked, pointing to a random book.

"You've read Call Me by Your Name like four times." The raven haire girl reminded.

"I just love it so much." Josie reasoned.

The other girl shrugged, "I guess."

"Great! Thanks, Pen! "Did you finish the problem?" The brown eyed girl inquired, effectively changing the subject.

The two girls began walking back down to the living room, "I wrote down the problem, but I didn't know what to do after that."

"Of course you did." Josie laughed.

***

It'd been a little over a month since their study session. The duo were two weeks away from finishing their last week of their first semester of their senior year of high school. Josie had forgotten all about the box, much to Penelope's relief. The two were celebrating winter break a little early by having a sleepover, a tradition they had for the last eight years. The tradition normally fell on the weekend before winter break, but the brown eyed girl had plans with Hope, so they worked around it. Josie was going through Penelope's closet looking for clothes to wear for their "fashion show," another part of their tradition. Were they too old to do wacky fashion shows? Most definitely, but that never stopped them. However, Penelope's closet was a mess. It was like a tornado ripped right through it, it was impossible to find anything. Josie spied a few items she might be able to use for their show when some clothes on the floor shoved into the corner caught her eye. She picked out a jean jacket, a green button up, and a pink dress that would suffice when she stumbled upon the box. She peaked over her shoulder to make sure Penelope was still preoccupied before tucking it under some of the clothes in her arms.

Penelope crashed after their "fashion show" and about halfway through the movie the two were watching. Josie on the other hand, was wide awake. Throughout the entire night, she was dying to know what was inside of the box her best friend made such an effort to hide. She cautiously slipped out of the bed she was sharing with the Penelope before heading off to the bathroom where she kept the box.

As soon as she got to the bathroom, she eagerly opened the box. Inside, she found neatly folded pieces of paper taped to a CD. There were also wilted rose petals in a tiny bottle, a woven bracelet that oddly looked familiar, some arcade tickets, movie tickets, and photos of the two.

She carefully removed the pieces of paper taped to the CD and slowly unfolded it. She quickly noticed Penelope's neat handwriting filled the entire thing.

_If you're reading this, I guess I finally grew some balls, huh? Josie, I want you to know how much you mean to me. I'm so lucky to have met you, there's never a dull moment with you. We could literally be doing our homework together and I would be having a blast. It may be silly, but I put together a CD with a few Hannah Montana songs that remind me of you. I mean, we met in third grade through our mutual love for the queen that is Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana, so I figured why not. I realize that this is super outdated, and I probably could've just made you a playlist instead, but this way felt more special. If you haven't thrown away this paper by now, please listen to each song in order and read the description that goes along with it, I explain some lyrics of the song that really stick out to me._

Josie prayed Penelope was still sound asleep as she snuck back into her room to grab the girl's laptop. Because the room was pitch black, Josie hit her side on the edge of Penelope's bed frame. She felt as if she had just been shot but bit her lip to suppress the curse that she badly wanted to scream. Holding her side, she took her laptop, rummaged through her bag to find her headphones, and retreated back to the bathroom.

_The first song is I Wanna Know You._  Josie inserted the disc, plugged in her headphones, and began to read further.

**When I saw you over there I didn't mean to stare. But my mind was everywhere I wanna know you.**  The first time I saw you was in third grade and you were arguing with your sister about the best show on the Disney Channel. I don’t know why, but in that moment,  I knew I wanted to be your friend.

**Gonna guess that you’re the kind to say what’s on your mind but you listen when I have something to show you.** _You're the kind of person that's not afraid to say what's on your mind. You speak so passionately about things and you have such a way with words, it blows me away. I could listen to you speak about anything for hours. However, you also listen to me when I have something to say. I can't thank you enough for how you stay up with me at god awful hours just to hear me rant about something as simple as pineapple on pizza (I can already picture you rolling your eyes, but it does in fact belong on pizza). Thank you for listening to me on all my relationship troubles, my family troubles, and just being there._

**There's a mark above your eye you got in July. fighting for your sister's reputation.** _I admire the lengths you go for your family. Despite being so much smaller and two grades younger than him, you stood up to Landon Kirby because he made fun of Lizzie. I know that you'd do the same for me in a heartbeat and I love that about you._

**You remember people's names and Valentines are lame, so I bring you flowers just for no occasion.** _I've always hated Valentine's day, nobody knows that except you. The rose in the box is one of the many roses you've given me. The first time you gave me a rose was in fifth grade. You originally planned to give the rose to Rafael Waithe, but instead, you gave it to me. I didn't even know you that well, but you saw how upset I was that Dylan gave Sydney a Valentine but not me. You said that I was your Valentine, and you've said that every year for the past eight years and it makes me hate Valentine's day less and less. My past boyfriends would go all out for Valentine's day and get me mountains of chocolate or bears as big as I am, but none of them have ever made me as happy as the single rose you get me every single year._

Josie paused to examine the dead rose in the bottle. She never realized that a simple rose would make such an impact on her best friend.

**You smile, never shout.** _You know I hate being yelled at. Not once in the years that you've known me have you raised your voice at me._   **You stand out in a crowd.** _You say that nobody ever notices you, and instead notices your sister but you're always the one that I notice. You say that you don’t like your boring brown eyes, but I think they’re the most beautiful shade of brown I’ve ever seen. I can tell how you're feeling just by your eyes._ **You make the best of every situation.**   _I don't know how you do it, I don't know how you can be so optimistic about everything. I wish I had that trait. I remember the time that we wanted to go to the waterpark but neither of us wanted to bike there so being the genius that you are, you turned on the sprinklers in your backyard and had us run through it, screaming like idiots._

**Correct me if I'm wrong, You're fragile and you're strong. A beautiful and perfect combination.** _It's contradictory, but it's so true. You're fragile, you're vulnerable, but you're also strong. You're so fucking strong. You probably don’t believe it but you’re stronger than you think._

**I wanna go there where you go.**  I _wanna go on more late-night adventures with you. I wanna go on spontaneous road trips with you._ **I wanna find out what you know and maybe someday down the road sit back and say to myself 'I like how you are with me.'**   _Maybe that someday is today. Today I've been reflecting on everything we've done together. You're the best friend anyone could ask for. You treat me like no one else does, sure we're sarcastic assholes towards each other but you just get me. You know me on levels no one has ever dared to venture. Thank you._

_The next song is True Friend._

**We sign our cards and letters BFF. You've got a million ways to make me laugh.**   _It could be as simple as making a funny face or something as complicated as our countless inside jokes. Thank you. Your mom always says that laughter makes you live longer so thank you for making me laugh so much I've probably added a million years to my life. And I'm hoping that we'll have a million more laughs in the future._

**You're looking out for me; you've got my back it's so good to have you around.**  I _'m sorry I didn't listen to you when you told me that Jed was no good. You were just looking out for me and you always have. Had I listened to you, I would've saved myself a heartbreak. I promise to listen to you more often._

**You know the secrets I could never tell.**  Y _ou're the only one that knows that I'm bisexual. It felt so liberating saying it out loud for the first time. Thank you for keeping this secret for me. Thank you for not judging me. You knew something was up with me, but you never pushed me to tell you. I'd freeze up and lose all ability to speak yet you never pressured me._

**And when I'm quiet you break through my shell.** _Contrary to popular belief, I was quiet before I met you. My parents were worried that I wouldn't make friends because I was so introverted. We were supposed to tell the class our favorite song and we both said a song by Hannah Montana I noticed the way you smiled at me, but I looked away. At recess, you approached me and started talking to me about Hannah. I was shy and my responses were short, yet by the end of the day you couldn't get me to shut up. It was then that I knew that we'd easily be good friends._

**You're a true friend, you're here till the end.**   _I've had a lot of friends come and go. You're the only constant in my life. I hope by the end of this you will still stick around. I can't imagine my life without you._

**You pull me aside when something ain't right.**   _You always know when I'm not feeling great. You know in an instant when something is off with me and you know exactly the things to say to make me feel better._   **Talk with me now and into the night till it's alright again.**   _You never give up on me. You always find out the root of my problems no matter how late it is. You'd stay up at 3 am with me to try and get to the bottom of it. You're probably sick of me thanking you by now, but I can't stress it enough, thank you. You're a true friend._

**You don't get angry when I change the plans.** _You know that I'm literally the most indecisive person in the world. I still remember the day you really wanted to go to the zoo but instead I changed the plans to go to the arcade at the very last minute. Inside are the tickets you won for me because I was so set on getting the panda stuffed animal. We didn't even get close to the amount we needed, mostly because you wasted so many of our tokens on one of those rigged claw machines, but it was the thought that counted. We also didn't get nearly enough because you suck at skeeball. You'd always aim for the 10,000 point slot but not once did you even make it. I think you got a high score of 9,000 only to be rewarded with five tickets but I got a good laugh out of it, so it made it all worth it. You made it all worth it._

**Somehow you're never out of second chances.** _You always see the good in people. I've fucked up so many times in our friendship and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for pushing you away when my parents got divorced. I'm sorry for blowing up at you when Brandon dumped me. I'm sorry for saying horrible things to you when you don't deserve it. Yet you always forgive me and take yet another chance on me. I promise I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you._

**True friends will go to the end of the earth till they find the things you need.** _That's exactly what you do now and again. I will never forget the time that you scoured half of Miami just to find a store that sold the magazine Zayn Malik was on the cover of just for me. What did I do to deserve someone like you?_

**Friends hang on through the ups and the downs cause they've got someone to believe in.**   _Even when I try to push you away, you're stuck on me like glue. You believe in me when nobody else does and I admire you for that. Thank you so much, Jo._

_The next song is Make Some Noise_

**There's nothing wrong with just being yourself, that's more than enough.** _I remember the day you had come out to me as if it were just yesterday. I could tell that something had been bothering you for days, but I knew better than to pester you about it. I knew that you'd tell me whatever it is that was on your mind. And when you did, you were finally able to be your true self and I was so happy for you._

**So come on and raise your voice. Speak your mind and make some noise.**   _God, I love it when you speak your mind. You have such an intelligent mind. Whenever you're speaking about politics, you're so passionate about it and that's one of the things I love about you. Hell, you could even read the ingredients of an ointment and I'd still be in awe._

**You want to be known, you want to be heard.** _You're going to change the world and I just know it. I mean, you're a member of the student counsel, a terrible flag football player, and an activist for women's rights. You're going to do big things and I want to be by your side through it all._

**And know you are beautiful, you have so much to give.**   _You are so so beautiful. I can never understand how you could just wake up and you're still the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Compared to me, who looks like a fucking zombie in the morning._

**You have a diamond inside of your heart.**   _Your heart is none like I've ever seen before. Your heart is so god damn big, I'm hoping that you want to share some of your heart with me._

**A light that shines bright as the stars. You light up any room that you're in.** _I also love that about you. You've got this personality that just draws people in. And the way your smile lights up a room? It’s astonishing.  I only wish that you’d smile for the rest of your life. Because when you’re not smiling, nothing feels quite the same._

**There's no one else who can stand in your place so come on it's never too late.** _There's no one else that I have my eyes on. There's no one that could captivate me as much as you captivate me. There's no one that I can picture spending the rest of my life with. I've been beating around the bush for the past 10 years, so I'm taking this giant leap and I hope you'll be there to catch me._

_The next song is One In A Million_

**Somehow I knew that there was more than just chemistry I mean I knew you were kinda into me.**   _In the seventh grade, we were sitting in my room watching some show on the TV when you all of a sudden suggested that we kissed each other to be each other's first kiss. "I want to lose it to someone special, and you're special to me." You said. I didn't need much more convincing after that. We "kissed" each other. The quotations are quite necessary since we ended up bumping heads at first. Then, we bumped teeth because you had gone for it a little too harsh. Then we kinda just pecked each other and then after that you basically had your entire mouth over mine. You said, "This is how they do it in the movies." I didn't question it._

**But I figured it's too good to be true.** _The next day you kissed some guy at recess. I told you that I had gotten a bad grade on a test but seeing you with the guy made me mad for some reason._

**I said pinch me where's the catch this time.**  I _n our sophomore year, you held my hand in the hallway on an October afternoon. I thought it was because you were beginning to have feelings for me._

**Help me before i get used to this guy.** _Obviously, girl in this case. You held my hand through the hallway for the rest of the week and I remember thinking "I could get used to this." The catch was that you were only trying to make a girl jealous. But I forgive you for it. I'll always forgive you._

**You're making me laugh about the silliest stuff.** _Your impressions always get me. Especially the one about that crazy lady from the only accident you've been in. We laugh about tiny little things that other people probably think we're outrageous for. Find the picture of us at our Junior Year prom._  Josie did as instructed and examined the pictures. The first of which being a normal picture of the two of them smiling at the camera, the second one being of only the backdrop. The third picture was a picture of Josie making a goofy face at the camera wearing a giant sombrero and holding up a big ole' mustache on a stick under her nose and Penelope was pictured next to Josie rocking humungous crooked yellow shades and a neon pink boa wrapped around her neck. However, Penelope had a look on her face as if she was about to sneeze. Moments after the picture was taken, Penelope let out a giant sneeze, claiming the feathers from the boa were up her nose. And finally, the fourth picture was them breaking out in laughter. Josie had one hand on Penelope's shoulder, the other held her stomach while her head was thrown back in laughter. Penelope was doubled over, hands on both of her knees, and hair looking like a bird's nest.

**Say that I'm your diamond in the rough.** _To anyone else, I probably look like a badass. But to you, you say I'm the biggest softie._

**When I'm mad at you, you come with your velvet touch.**   _When I'm mad, you don't even need to say anything. You just sit there across from me, gently rubbing patterns on my leg. I can never stay mad at you for long._

**Can't believe that I'm so lucky.**   _I can't believe that I'm so lucky to have the pleasure of being your friend, Josie Saltzman. In sixth grade, we made matching friendship bracelets out of string. That's what the bracelet is, if you were wondering. We had worn them every day until one day in eighth grade, I noticed that you weren't wearing it. You were so afraid to tell me that you had lost it, but when you did, I told you that it was okay. I told you that we could share mine and we did. For the rest of eight grade you'd get to wear it one day, then I'd wear it the next. It was like our thing. In the summer of eight grade, the worn-down bracelet was seeing its final days and it finally broke. I took it home that night and tried to fix it but my cat chewed it up even more and I eventually misplaced it. I found it behind my dresser the other day and all the memories with this bracelet came rushing back._

**I have never felt so happy every time I see that sparkle in your eye.** _It makes me happy knowing that you have this look just for me. You and your big brown orbs look at me differently than from how you look at everyone else. I'm hoping it's the same reason that I look at you differently too._

**They say that good things take time, but really great things happen in a blink of an eye.** _Our friendship has gotten stronger and stronger every day for the past 10 years. It's a really good thing for me. You're really good for me. I'm hoping that the next time I blink, something will have changed for the better._

**All this time I was looking for love, trying to make things work.**   _I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I tried to find it in Jed, in Elisia, in Brandon, in Hailey. I tried to make them all work, I really truly tried. But love had already found me and I'm hoping that it found you too._

**They weren't good enough till I thought I'm through, said I'm done and stumbled into the arms of the one.**   _Every single time each of these people broke my heart. you were there to pick up the pieces. You were the only one there for me. You would be my shoulder to cry on. You just held me and let me cry it out, never once telling me "I told you so" when you tried to warn me about all of them. I was trying to force myself to love them because you were happy with somebody else. But being in your arms at the end of the day, made all the heartbreak worth it._

**You're one in a million.** _I can't live my life wondering "what could have been" so in case you haven't caught on by now, I love you, Josie. You're the person I believe is my soulmate. I've been hiding this from you for years and it finally feels good to get it off my chest. So, will you be my girlfriend, Jo?_

Josie couldn't take it anymore, she was so overwhelmed. She needed to leave. The brown-haired girl folded up the paper haphazardly, put the contents back into the books, yanked hear headphones out of her ears and shut the laptop. It was when she stood up that she noticed the hazel eyed girl with tears in her eyes leaning against the door frame. Josie didn't say anything to her, instead, she just squeezed past her, gathered her things, and left without a single word.

**_Penelope:_**  Let me explain

**_Penelope:_**  Please

**_Penelope:_** I'm begging you

**_Penelope:_** Josie

**_Penelope:_** Talk to me

**_Josie:_** I just need some space.

Penelope didn't hear from who was supposed to be her best friend the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that. It went on for about a week. Josie didn't even show up to the classes she shared with Penelope. If she did come, the brown eyed girl would sit as far away from Penelope as possible and have her headphones in. Either that, or Lizzie would swoop in and stop her. Penelope no longer sat at her usual lunch table anymore. Instead, she'd eat lunch in the bleachers on the field or sometimes, she'd even skip lunch and stay in the library. She was sick of it, she tried texting, she tried calling, she even tried showing up at the girl's house and every time, she'd be hit with no response. Hope came by with a box of Penelope's stuff that she had at Josie's house. The fact that Josie didn't bring it herself made Penelope's heart ache. She just wanted a chance to explain herself to Josie. Hope seemed pissed at Penelope too. Josie must've told her, I mean why wouldn't she, she's Josie's girlfriend.

"Hope, let me explai-" Penelope started.

"I'll be back tomorrow at 3 to pick up Josie's stuff." Hope interrupted and left without another sound.

It took everything in Penelope to pack away all of Josie's stuff. With every item she put into the box, her heart broke even more. By the time she did, she felt so drained and she didn't even recognize her room anymore. She felt like a stranger in her own home. When Hope showed up at her door, took the box, and left without a word, whatever was left of Penelope's heart shattered.

Embarrassed, angry, confused, and most of all, depressed, Penelope silently cried herself to sleep, much like she did for the past two weeks. She didn't understand how her body hadn't run out of tears yet.

Winter break was over, and Josie was finally ready to talk. However, when she went to Penelope's locker she was nowhere to be found. She had even asked MG, one of Penelope’s good friends, for Penelope's schedule but it turned out that MG hadn't heard from the girl either. Josie figured that the hazel eyed girl was probably just running late, like she always did and decided to wait. When the late bell rang and the petite girl was still nowhere to be found, she gave up and decided to head to class. She'd try again later she thought to herself. A few days passed and there was still no sign of her so called best friend.

Tired of waiting around, Josie decided to head to Penelope's house after school in hopes of being able to talk to said girl. It felt weird to Josie having to ring the doorbell of her basically second home. In the box of Penelope's things, she returned the spare key to the raven-haired girl’s house. After awkwardly standing on the porch for what felt like an eternity to the Josie, the door finally opened.

"Josie?" A familiar voice asked.

"Hi, Mrs. Park. Is Penelope there?" It felt so wrong to say Mrs. Park to Josie. Normally, she'd refer to her by her first name or "mom" but Josie didn't know what their relationship was anymore. She didn't know if Penelope had told her all about their falling out or anything. She didn't know what boundaries she could cross anymore. It was all so weird to her.

Mrs. Park seemed a bit confused for a minute. "When have you ever called me Mrs. Park? I thought you knew? She decided to finish up school online and is now living in New Orleans for the time being a family friend."

Josie was shocked, "Thank you, momma Park. Would you mind telling her hi for me? Please?"

"She told me that you were doing the same as she was except, you'd be in Virginia, that's the whole reason why her dad and I let her go up there!" The older woman replied.

_So, Penelope didn't tell her mom about us?_ Josie thought. "Oh right, um, yeah, my flight is tomorrow!" She lied. "It was good seeing you. Thanks again."

Josie was baffled during the walk back to her car. Penelope must think she hates her that much that she moved to a whole different state. The brown eyed girl couldn't help but feel bad. She had been the one that ripped her best friend's heart out of her chest, yet she didn't tell her parents about it? Had she kept this all to herself the entire time? Josie felt like absolute shit. Although she never got a response, she decided to try to text Penelope again.

**_Josie:_**  I don't hate you

**_Josie:_**  Please talk to me

**_Josie:_**  You're in New Orleans?

**_Penelope:_**  who is this

**_Penelope:_**  no i live in Miami

**_Josie:_**  don't play this game, you know it's me. Josie.

**_Penelope:_** Josie who?

**_Josie:_**  hello??? your best friend? you don't know any others named Josie

**_Josie:_**  okay, I'm sorry that was a bit rude. Can we talk?

**_Penelope:_** I don't know a Josie.

**_Josie:_**  Penelope, please

**_Penelope:_**  I think you have the wrong number

**_Josie:_**  stop playing games and let me fucking talk to you!

**_Penelope:_** my name is Emily and I'm blocking you now, asshole.

Josie screamed in the privacy of her own car. She hit her fists against the steering wheel out of frustration. Penelope even changed her phone number. Josie truly felt like the worst friend in the world.

Penelope was miserable. She's in a new city where she doesn't know anyone, doesn't know where she's going, and most of all, she doesn't even know herself. All she knows is that nothing makes her happy anymore. Every little thing reminds her of Josie and it's driving her insane.

If We Were A Movie is playing on repeat in her mind.

**If we were a movie, you'd be the right guy and I'd be the best friend you'd fall in love with.** If this were a movie, Josie would be hers and she'd be Josie's. But this isn't a movie. This is real life. Sure, her heart hurt after her breakups with her previous relationships, but if she combined all of her heartbreak together, it wouldn't even come close to the pain she is experiencing now. Friends can break your heart too.

**In the end we'd be laughing, watching the sunset fade to black, show the names, play that happy song.**  Instead, she's watching the gloomy, cloudy New Orleans sky. She keeps replaying the look of disgust that was written all over Josie's face the night she read her letter, and sad songs are all that she can stand to listen to.

**When you call me, I can hear it in your voice. "Oh sure! Wanna see me and tell me all about her!"**  Two months had passed and Penelope's ever so slowly learning to live again. Penelope got in touch with MG again and one night he was actually hanging out with Josie at a party. Penelope had been FaceTiming MG and telling him about how she got a job as a music therapist for children when a very drunk Josie Saltzman snatched the phone out of MG’s hand.

"Pen? Why'd jew chaynge yer noomber? Do yew haaate me that much?" She slurred. "I meess you."

Penelope stayed frozen, not knowing what to say, growing more and more uncomfortable by the minute. It's crazy to think that she used to feel so at ease and safe when in the company of Josie but now she feels lost and tense.

"Where's my gurlfrend Hopeee?" The drunk girl wondered. "Is our one yeer anchovy today. We're going tew have nice sex!" Josie shoved the phone back into MG’s hands and went to go in search for her girlfriend.

**I'll be acting through my tears I guess you'll never know that I should win an Oscar for this scene I'm in.** Penelope willed the tears away as she continued her talk with MG. She acted as though Josie had never even made a guest appearance. But as soon as the call ended, the girl broke down in tears and all of her progress was lost. It seemed to her that Josie was doing just fine without her, meanwhile she was still a mess.

**Wish I could tell you there's a twist, some kind of hero in disguise and we're together. It's for real.** Penelope wished that this was one sick nightmare. That her and Josie were still best of friends finishing their last year of high school together and Hope wasn't in the picture. She wished that Josie had never found the box that ruined everything. She wished that she was happy again.

**Wish I could tell you there's a kiss like something more than in my mind, I see it, could be amazing.** Penelope pictured kissing Josie for ages. Like an actual kiss, not like the one from seventh grade. It was amazing in her dream, but when she woke up, reality smacked her in the face. That would never happen in a million years. She sighed and began her day.

Fast forward four months later and it's Josie's birthday. Penelope knew that she shouldn't be thinking of the girl that completely ruined her, but she couldn't help herself. She had spent every birthday with the girl for ten years. This would be the first without her.

Song: I Miss You

**You used to call me your angel, said I was sent straight down from heaven. You'd hold me close in your arms.**  Josie had always wanting to go and do rebellious things. Penelope was always the voice of reason. Which is why Josie had always called her her angel. It'd been 6 months since she last felt Josie's touch and she craved it so bad. She almost gave in multiple times, being one second from buying a plane ticket to go back home. Not to her home home, home as in Josie's arms.

**I loved the way you felt so strong, I never wanted you to leave. I wanted you to stay here holding me.**  Every time Josie held Penelope, she felt safe. As if her frail arms could shield her from the rest of the world. The raven haired girl felt safest there. But now she doesn't know if that would still be the case.

**I miss you. I miss your smile and I still shed a tear every once in a while.** Penelope had been doing a lot better. She was moving forward with her life. She had a great job that she loved, she would be going to her dream school in the fall, she started to make small steps towards opening herself up again. She hadn't cried over Josie in a groundbreaking two weeks.

**Even though it's different now, you're still here somehow.**  Penelope could see Josie in most everything she did. She'd see a guy do fingerguns with his hands on the Subway and automatically thought about how that's a Josie thing to do. She'd be helping a kid in her music therapy session that had chocolate brown eyes that would light up whenever Penelope played the bass and all she could think about was Josie.

**My heart won't let you go and I need you to know I miss you.** Penelope knew that she should get over Josie. They were never even together but she can't seem to get over it. Her brain knew that this wasn't healthy, and she was stuck in a toxic little cycle, but her heart was too attached. It seemed that her heart was much more powerful than her rational thinking.

**You used to call me your dreamer and now I'm living out my dream.**  Penelope got to play the bass and piano for beautiful children in a beautiful city. She got to go to her dream college and be on her way to earn her dream degree.

**Oh how I wish you could see everything that's happened to me.** It'd been a year now. Penelope got a raise and has been a slightest bit happier than she was months ago. She opened herself up enough to make friends in her dorm and in the classroom. Her closest friend being Davina Claire.

**I'm thinking back on the past and it's true that time is flying by too fast.**

She can finally function now. Her thoughts about Josie have diminished to a few thoughts per day. She no longer sees Josie in everything. She's not quite the same as BPE (Before Posie Ended), but she's on track to get there. Eventually.

**I know you're where you need to be even though it's not here with me.**  Penelope has accepted that her and Josie weren't meant to be together. She's given herself closure. She's stronger now, and because of that, she decides to shoot Josie a text.

**_Penelope:_**  Hey, it's Penelope.

Mixed Up

**How come everything turns out leaving me with more doubts.** The two of them catch up. It's surface level conversation, but it's better than the radio silence they'd been faced with for the past year. Penelope is already doubting if this was the right decision to do or if she should've allowed herself more time to heal.

**I feel like I'm upside down and I don't wanna be here.** With each text, she can feel herself slipping back into her old ways. She doesn't want to go back to how she felt pining after the girl that was so unattainable. So, she takes her time responding, waiting half an hour or more to reply, busying herself with school or any other possible form of distraction. It's petty, she knows, but it feels like her only defense mechanism.

**I go right, should have gone left and I say things I should not have said.** Penelope slipped up. Big time. They're talking about their dorm room beds and how uncomfortable they are because Penelope still lives in the dorms while Josie lives in and apartment, and Penelope accidentally forgets about their boundaries and she slips back into how they used to act as best friends and said, "It would be a lot more comfortable if you weren’t in it and we cuddled, you know because you’re soooo comfy." As soon as she sent it, she instantly regretted it.

**Look at me in this big mess, I don't wanna be here.**  Josie doesn't respond for a few days after that. Maybe it was for the best Penelope thought. She had already lost Josie in the worst way possible, she didn't mind losing her again. She'd become numb to it all.

**Oh, it used to be easy, all I had to be was me, now I'm mixed up.** Conversation with Josie used to be so effortless. Penelope used to be unapologetically herself with Josie, but now she finds herself being someone she wasn't. She finds herself embellishing on her experiences just so she can pretend that her life is still grand without her.

**Tell me how to fix this, I'd trade my world for one wish to go back to my other life.** Penelope and Josie hated this. This was nothing like it used to be. Josie was dry and short with her. She was texting differently, and she didn't seem into it. The same could be said for Penelope too.

**Oh, I hope that I'm dreaming 'cause I'm sick of this feeling.**  Both girls missed her best friend. It had been almost two years since they had last seen each other face to face.

**Tell me everything's gonna be okay cause today it feels like I won't make it through the darkness.**  Josie told Penelope that her and Hope had decided to take a break. Josie told her that their relationship had grown out of love. She had said that she just wasn't happy anymore and was only together with her because it felt normal, that she's all she knew. They'd experienced so much together. Josie and Hope were childhood friends that disconnected for a few years but found their way back to each other and fell in love. They'd gone to the same college to be with each other, got an apartment together, and were even studying the same degree as each other. But Josie and Hope came to a mutual agreeement that they just weren’t feeling it anymore. They were still somewhat friends, but Josie knew she couldn’t stay in the same apartment as Hope. There was just too much history. Penelope said "Everything's going be okay" but she didn't know whether or not she was saying it to herself or for Josie.

**Don't know how to get out of this, I'm so mixed up. Somebody help me.**  Josie couch surfed for the remaining of the semester. She occasionally stayed in a motel when the weather started to drop, and it was too cold to live in her car anymore. At the end of the semester, she decided to transfer to a different university. She had started to send Penelope riskier text messages, opening herself back up to her ex-bestfriend once again. Penelope felt conflicted. She wanted to be there for Josie in this dark time in her life, however she didn't want to throw away everything she’d worked towards. She knew that once she saw Josie again, she'd fall for her again.

Song: Don't Wanna Be Torn

**Maybe it's the things I say. Maybe I should think before I speak.** Penelope tried to cheer Josie up. Key word is _tried_. They slowly fell back into the way things were BPE. The hazel eyed girl wouldn't sit there and rewrite her text 32 times. Instead, she sent things on impulse. She would say things and somehow, they'd always end up relating back to Hope.

**But I thought that I knew enough to know myself and do what's right for me.** Penelope quickly caught herself though. She had found herself throwing away all of her progress. Things were different now and Hope is no longer in the picture, so maybe they'd have a shot. Josie had been sending suggestive text messages lately and it put a skip in Penelope's heart, and it gave her hope. However, she heard through a friend that Josie had been hooking up with girls from parties and from the bar and her heart sank once more. That was the final nail in the coffin. She concluded that her and Josie just aren't meant to be and decided enough is enough.

**And these wall I'm building now, you used to bring 'em down. And the tears I'm crying out, you used to wipe away.** Penelope drew back in the conversation. She replied with just enough to make sure Josie doesn't quite question her. Sometimes she didn't even feel like talking to Josie which was strange because ever since she met Josie, she had always wanted to talk to her.

**Don't wanna be torn.** Penelope was in a predicament. She didn't want to throw away her twelve-year friendship with the brown eyed girl, but she knew that if she kept on talking to her, she'd fall back into her toxic pining after the girl. Josie has trampled over her heart a dozen times and she's not quite sure if she can handle one more. So, she did what she felt like she had to do.

**I thought you said it was easy listening to your heart. I thought you said I'd be okay. So why am I breaking apart?**

Although it took everything in her, Penelope told her ex-bestfriend that she needed time apart. This time, she knew she didn't have anything to lose, so she told her about how she needed to get over her and how she didn't know how long it would be until they will speak again. Penelope respectfully asked her not to call or text her. And just like that, they were two strangers again.

**Now it all feels like a fight. You were always on my side.** Josie didn't listen. She kept on trying to text the other girl, and she even called her maybe 100 times. Penelope saw it. She cried with each voicemail that she listened to. Her heart couldn't handle it. She blocked Josie's number and blocked her on every social media site. She told her mom, who was already informed about their previous situation, to not let Josie get ahold of her. She explained everything that has happened since to her mother over the phone. She relived every emotion she felt and was especially drained afterwards. It was one of the only nights that she didn't cry herself to sleep only because she was too tired to.

**And the lonely I feel now. You used to make it go away.** Penelope had never felt this lonely. Even on their previous two-year time away from each other, it never felt like this. Now, she sought comfort in her new best friend, Davina. Davina was well aware of the history between Josie and Penelope.

**Why does all this make me angry? I wanna go back to being happy.** The thought of Josie used to make Penelope ecstatic, however now it just brought every emotion besides joy. It'd been a few weeks since she painfully ended their friendship and she was slowly picking up the pieces. Her recovery had come much quicker than before because she had learned how to function without the girl. She was still pretty detached from the world, but she was getting there. Her best friend had become a major factor in getting her feet back on the ground again.

Song: I'll Always Remember You

**I always knew this day would come. We'd be standing one by one with our future in our hands.**  Penelope had graduated college. She got her degree and decided to go back to her hometown for the summer. She hadn't really been back except for the holidays. Standing in line at the Starbucks in the airport, she couldn't help but reminisce in the memories that she had in this city. The thought of Josie no longer made her angry. She finally found peace in the fact that she was once part of her life and played a crucial role in who she is today. 

"Penelope?" a familiar voice called out from behind her.

Although it had been over two years since she last heard that voice, the petite brunette could recognize it from anywhere. It belonged to the girl that used to flood her mind. She turned around, and her suspicions were correct. Penelope took notice in how Josie’s features have changed since she had last seen her. Her face was more defined and more mature, with how her cheeks had grown less chubby. How her brown hair had grown longer.

"Josie? Wow, it's so good to see you!" Penelope honestly said, moving from her spot in line to give the other girl a hug.

Josie hugged back and asked, "What are you doing here?" when she pulled back.

"I just graduated and am back here for the summer!" The hazel eyed girl replied. "What about you?"

"I graduated last semester, but I just came back from a volunteer trip in Puerto Rico." Josie informed her.

"That's so amazing!" Penelope replied, her heart no longer melting at the fact that Josie had been volunteering in another country. "I'd love to catch up with you, do you want to sit down and have coffee?"

For a moment it looked as if Josie contemplated the offer but ended up agreeing. The two sat by the coffee shop catching up on their lives during the past two years. Penelope told her ex-bestfriend about how she just got her bachelor's degree in music therapy while Josie told her about how she earned her bachelor's in English literature and a minor in Japanese.

**I always knew after all these years there'd be laughter, there'd be tears.** The two brought back some of their inside jokes and although it had been over four years since they last saw each other and two since they had last talked, it was almost like no time had passed and they were still two kids in high school trying to make it through their senior year. It was all fun and games, but the conversation shifted into a more serious note.

Penelope revealed that she was finally over Josie and had been in a relationship for the past year. It caught Josie a little off guard. The girl hadn't dated anyone in the past two years and was still dealing with her feelings for the girl in front of her. Penelope proposed that they could mend their friendship and go back to how things were (that is, without the romantic feelings for the brown eyed girl).

**But never thought that I'd walk away with so much joy but so much pain**. However, Josie wasn't ready for that. She told her that she still needed time to heal. Penelope understood. Josie had given her space when she needed it, so she would do the same. It pained her to have to walk away yet again, but it was for the best.

**And it's so hard to say goodbye. But yesterday's gone. We gotta keep moving on.** When the duo had finished their coffee, they decided to chat while going to claim their baggages. The two took a picture together and hugged goodbye, wishing each other well and good luck in their future. Both Josie and Penelope were content. They were two grown women who no longer needed to run from their problems. They talked it out and got closure the two never knew they needed.

**I'm so thankful for the moments, so glad I got to know you. The times that we had I'll keep like a photograph and hold you in my heart forever. I'll always remember you.** When Penelope got home, she printed off the picture that the two of them had taken at the airport and placed it in the box that had started it all. She threw away the letter that she had written to Josie but looked back on all of the souvenirs she had gotten along the way. She added to the pile her flight ticket. This was just another stepping stone to the two's journey. Smiling, she shut the box and tucked it away in the top corner of her closet. She knew that Josie was her soulmate, not a romantic one, but her friend soulmate. So, she knew that their paths will cross again and hopefully next time both of them will be ready and they can become the best of friends again.

 


End file.
